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A slightly Bastardly Place

Passengers, Mumbai’s taxi drivers tell me, come in blocks of time. The ones in the morning are perpetually late for work and impatiently command drivers to break signals and bombard the streets with relentless honking. A fair number of morning passengers finish embellishing themselves within the confines of the taxi: men comb their hair, women dab their chins. They talk on the phone.
Afternoon passengers are more sluggish, drunk with heat and tired of the world. They stare out the window and don’t mind if drivers softly play old Hindi numbers on the radio. The sadder the song, the better matched the music to the mood of these passengers.
“But the most colourful ones come at night,” this one driver tells me.  

I sense a story coming and lean slightly forward.  I am the atypical morning customer - punctual and all set for a slow conversation.

“One evening this person asked to be driven to Bandra,” the driver begins. “I was thrilled because Bandra meant over two hundred rupees.  But the customer had something else on his mind. He pulled out a ghoda from his pocket and set it beside him, all the while looking at me in the rearview mirror.”

I was still new enough to Bombay and cried out - “Ghoda? Horse? From his pocket?”

Loha,” said the driver.  “He pulled out a loha.”

“An iron horse?”

He sighed. “A gun, Madam. He put a gun on the seat.”

I blinked, feeling slightly stupid.  I also quite suddenly remembered all the Bollywood movies where the horse is pulled out, the iron handled, people’s brains blown out and served as snacks on a plate etc. The man laughed, enjoying my discomfort. 

“Well,” he went on, “I saw the ghoda and knew my night was wasted.  These things happen to us every now and then.  If not a gun then a man too drunk and angry to take punga with will waste a night or two for us every month. But what could I do?  I drove him to Bandra, took no money from him, and made my way back to town, picking whom I could on the way.”

“That’s terrible!” I cried, feeling thoroughly indignant.

“Ah,” said the driver.  He was a man with a philosophic voice.  He said “Ah” the way people with secrets say “Ah”. “Life has its way of coming around.” Then he smiled a secret smile and went on.  “The next day I saw him again outside the Asiatic Library.  I had picked him up from the Asiatic the day before too.  The moment I saw him, I tried to run off, but he cocked his head at me that said I had better stop.  He was studying my number plate too and this made me nervous.  So I stopped and grinned at the bastard.  He got in smoothly and when I sighed, feeling terribly dejected at the thought of loosing another two hundred, he said - ‘don’t worry.  I will pay you today.  Yesterday was another day and today is another day.’"

“So no iron horses?”

“Nope.  Just a nice drive over the sea-link.  He asked me to put on music.  I went to Radio Mirchi and we listened to some new guy crooning to his girl.  At the end of the trip he asked me to wait for him for ten minutes. ‘I might need a ride back,’ he said.  He noted my phone number and said he would call if I was not required.  When we reached our destination he gave me two hundred and fifty bucks — twenty rupees more than what the meter read!  I waited on the road for five minutes before he called to say I was no longer required.”

“Fat favour he did you,” I said, still angry with the man. 

“Well, he became my regular after that.  Everyday at five thirty I came to the Asiatic Library and dropped him off at Bandra.  Everyday he called within ten minutes to let me know I could leave.  Everyday he gave me a little more than the meter.  Sometimes twenty, sometimes five, but always a little more.  Where I dropped him was a group of glassy complexes that glittered despite the grime in the air.  I was very happy with the arrangement.

“He never spoke much but I could sense he was powerful and kind and dangerous, that there was something secretive about these trips to Bandra and that the gun snored quietly in his pocket.  I kept the songs on the radio happy and sweet, always about love, never about death. 

“And then it was Valentine’s Day.  The city went mad.   Lovers everywhere, blooming.  It was embarrassing to be near Marine Drive.  These youngsters today have no shame.  They kiss everywhere! But the man was before the Asiatic Library at five-thirty sharp.  He had his office bag in one hand, on the other he carried a plastic bag that held something squarish in it.  He smiled when he saw me.  ‘How are you, Suresh-ji,’ he asked before slipping in.  He was very careful with his plastic bag and placed it gingerly on his side.  Throughout the trip he kept a palm over the parcel.  When I pulled up before the glassy complex he smiled and said - ‘today I will definitely not need you, but wait anyway.  I might want to go somewhere.’  He slipped out of the taxi light as a bee - his office bag and his plastic bag carefully balanced.  Five minutes later he called to say I was to drop him at Colaba.  I was ecstatic. Fat money for me!

“But when he emerged from the complex he was dark as death.  He must have killed the bastard he wanted to kill, I thought to myself, suddenly afraid.  He got into the taxi and when I turned on Radio Mirchi he grunted, so I turned it off.  He was clearly disturbed and his mental state made me nervous.  I kept my eyes on the traffic and tried to forget I was driving a man with a gun.  Then he began to talk.  ‘You have a family, Suresh-ji?’ he asked.  ‘Yes,’ I said.  ‘Two sons, two daughters, one wife.  All here, at Ganesh Murti Nagar.’  ‘Oh, Suresh-ji,’ he said, sighing out his words, ‘she was not home.  She has gone out with her husband for Valentine’s Day.  How could I have forgotten the husband?  He is never there.  It’s only her in the house.  He comes if he comes when he comes.  Then it’s Valentine’s Day and he has made plans!  She left a message with the receptionist who gave me a piece of paper with her writing on it, like I am some thief.  It’s a depressing world, Suresh-ji.’ 

“I was disgusted.  Here I thought I was driving the king of Mafia himself, and he turned out to be nothing but another crooning Majnu, and crooning someone else’s wife too! Really, the ways of the rich are disgusting.  But what concern was it of mine?  I was to drive him to Colaba and so would I.  While I drove, he talked.

“ ‘I got a cake for us, Suresh ji. I got her clothes.  And foreign chocolates.  What will I do with them now?  I cannot take them home.  I have never taken any such things for my wife before.  She will sense something in a second.  The buffalo has a nose of a dog! Besides, I cannot bear to think she will use what was meant for her!’

“He was despondent.  I tell you, the rich have such problems!  When we got to Colaba I got a glimpse of his apartment – a ramshackle, Madam!  He was just some nothing, but I felt sorry for the poor bastard nevertheless, and he kept his head down like the world had collapsed around him. He must have dreamt such dreams, and now he was back home to damp walls and a buffalo.  Finally he sighed and got ready to get off.  ‘You take these for your family, Suresh-ji,’ he said. ‘I cannot bear to look at them.’ And he gave me the square plastic bag. ‘No, no, Sahib,’ I said, but he was stepping out the taxi already, leaving behind the bag. 

“I did not take any more passengers that night.  I drove straight home, though my shift was to end only at midnight.  A terrible curiosity, one that was almost like fear, gripped me.  I wanted to pull over at some secluded corner and rip open the bag, but like I said, the curiosity was like fear and I had no courage.  Besides, the gun kept coming back to me.  There is something frightening about a bag left behind by a nobody who carries guns in his pocket.

“After I had parked my taxi at Ganesh Murti, I pulled the bag out and tried to look nonchalant as I navigated the alleys to my home.  I hadn’t been home this early for a long time and everything looked a little different - the shanties, the children. 

“The door to my house was open and I just stepped in, bag in hand, feeling a little like a criminal.  My daughters were home and my wife was on the bed, stitching buttons to a shirt.  She saw the bag and raised her brows.  ‘Go, call the boys,’ I told my younger daughter and she ran off. 

“ ‘What is this?’ my wife asked and I shook my head to indicate I did not know.  Then slowly, after my sons were home, we removed first the smallest box from the bag, then the bigger one, then the biggest one.  The smallest one had a flimsy nightdress in it, so flimsy my cheeks grew hot.  I could not even touch it! My wife stared like she had seen a ghost.  It was blue like the night sky.  I stuffed it under the pillow so we would not be forced to look at it. 

“There were chocolates in the second box, individual chocolates wrapped in golden wrappers and tied with thin ribbons.  It was a terrible sight, Madam, and immediately I thought of the gun in the man’s pocket.  These must be worth a fortune, I thought, staring at the gold.  So much gold and silk over chocolates!  I gave one to my youngest boy.  He is not like me, Madam, he is not afraid of anything in the world.  He took the chocolate immediately and ripped off the wrapper.  He grinned like a monkey, showing all his teeth.  His mother takes good care of him and those teeth are clean and white.  Then he popped the entire thing into his mouth.  I watched his white teeth turn brown, his eyes grow moist, throat move up and down, up and down.  He made a soft, squishy sound as he ate.  We were all mesmerised and picked out a chocolate each as though in a dream.  We unwrapped slowly, unlike my son who is a hooligan and cannot be slow about anything.  We watched each other with damp eyes and prayed the food on our tongue would never come to an end.

“When we had each eaten one chocolate I said, ‘It is Valentine’s Day today.’ My children, who learn all kinds of things in their schools, giggled.  My wife frowned.  ‘A day for love,’ I said to my wife, feeling suddenly like the boys singing on radio.  My wife giggled too.  She is a beautiful woman, Madam. The city has not done any number on her. 

“We put away the remaining chocolates for another time and opened the largest box.  It had a cake in it, the type we sometime get for our children on their birthdays.  Except this was whiter, softer, bigger.  It was so white it glowed.  My wife brought out bowls and cut small pieces of the cake that vanished in our mouths.  I have never tasted anything like it in my life and I have lived on this earth for forty-five years.  I watched my family eating, and I thought of the poor man who was so unhappy, but I could not feel much for him right then.  You see, Madam, sometimes one person’s sorrow is another person’s joy, and I was too happy to be sorry about anything. 

“That night, after the children were asleep, I pulled out the nighty from under the pillow and felt it between my fingers.  My wife had never worn anything so soft upon her.  I wanted to wake her up but she works hard and I hadn’t the heart.  She hasn’t worn the nighty yet, Madam.  You see, the children sleep like pebbles between us, so she hasn’t worn it.  But I imagine her in the nighty often. She is a beautiful woman.  Not like the women of this city.”

Suresh was quiet after this.  I realised I was smiling, though I felt I would begin to cry any moment, though who could tell why.  The school where I taught was only five minutes away now and I wished ask after Suresh’s children and what they did after school and what their names were, and about his wife and what her life was like now and what it had been when she was a young girl, but there was no time for any of it today.

“Do you still drive the man to Bandra?” I asked him.

“No, Madam.  I went back to the Asiatic Library the next day but he was not there.  Maybe he was embarrassed.  Maybe he had revealed too much.  I was relieved though.  I did not want him in my taxi anymore.  For a while I avoided the Asiatic area, afraid I would bump into him.  You see, I don’t want that Valentine’s Day to become a conversation between us.  I don’t want him to ask me questions.  I don’t want it to be his gift to me.  I want it to be mine, my gift to my children and my wife.  I cannot recreate that Valentine’s Day ever again, and I don't want my best day to be someone else’s sadness.”

I said I understood.  

When we reached my school I smiled and said, “I am sorry I don’t have such an exciting life.”
He smiled back.  “I am glad you don’t,” he said, then added, “Don’t let the city do its number on you, Madam.  It’s a slightly bastardly place.”

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